On My Own
by princess-alice-malfoy-granger
Summary: Ginny helps a friend, but she is left alone, from then on, all goes down hill... taking a walk might not be the best option... read to know what happens... C:


(GINNY)

-You found her?– you asked, surprised at my quick investigation. Though it wasn't too hard to find her, she is too well known by everyone.

-Sure, you doubted me?- I said while faking being offended.

-No, it's just that I thought you would take longer- you said while messing up my hair; this not only made me smile but it made me feel like the most important person in the world. This, you shall never know of course.

-You should never doubt of Ginevra Weasley, she might leave you speechless more than once- I said and you just smiled at me- well, what are you waiting to go meet with her?

-You are right, this is all thanks to you Ginny, I could've never asked for a better friend than you.

-Don't worry, I know you wanted to find her, I just did my best to help you out- I said.

-If I could only help you the same way with Potter- you said- just like you helped me with her.

-You are truly in love with her, aren't you?- I asked wishing you were lying, but I can't lie to myself.

-How could I not be, Ginny?- you said- she is the perfect woman for me.

If you could only know that every word you say is like a dagger to my heart. I have never met anyone like you. Not even Harry, he was just a crush as a child. You are totally different to what he is, and that is what makes you better. If you only showed a sign, I wouldn't doubt to be yours.

On my own

Pretending he's beside me

All alone

I walk with him till morning

I see you walking away, going to meet her. You ring the bell and she doesn't take more than a few seconds to open the door, look at you shocked and then hug you. I find myself lonely again, no one by my side and watching you being happy with the woman that makes you smile truly from the bottom of your heart. The same smiles that you only share with her and that I could never get from you before. I watch you while you touch her body fervently. Tasting each second with her.

I remember perfectly her goodbye, so sad. I remember well because I was the one that cheered you up when she left. I remember well that I was the one to take you out from your depression when she had to leave. I remember well that I was the one to make you laugh while waiting for her comeback. And I remember perfectly when she told me to keep her location a secret to you, just to keep you away from danger.

Without him

I feel his arms around me

And when I lose my way I close my eyes

And he has found me

I walk to keep a distance from you and not hear the words you will never say to me. Words of undying love that I can only dare to hear in my dreams. While you rejoice in happiness because you found her after many years of looking for her. I walk to clear my mind and to keep me from thinking of the pain that grows in me because you are happy and I'm not. But all of this was made to make you happy, wasn't it?

I imagine your arms surrounding my body just like the many times you did throughout those years she was not by your side. Those days in which, if I ever got lost, I could close my eyes and apparate in your mansion where I was always welcomed. But I know that is all about to change, I won't be comfortable in your house; knowing that its rightful owner will be there.

In the rain the pavement shines like silver

All the lights are misty in the river

In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight

And all I see is him and me forever and forever

It's just so ironic that a few drops of rain that soon become part of my own tears accompany my sadness. I keep walking and I see the people walking by, I don't recognize any familiar face in them. The only thing I can recognize is the fact that they are running to take cover from the weather. Why would they run from something as pure as water? Or is it maybe that I am so sad that it makes happy someone is accompanying throughout my loneliness?

In the darkness, I can hear the laughter that some kids must have left while playing with the trees before they had to go and take cover from the rain. And maybe, just maybe, I can see a couple at the end of the street that could have been us. But once I come closer, I realize that it is just another person with a redhead girlfriend and not us.

And I know it's only in my mind

That I'm talking to myself and not to him

And although I know that he is blind

Still I say, there's a way for us

And I know perfectly that I can't talk to you about this because you must be happy by her side. I don't know what you are doing now but I can presume you must be enjoying each other's company meanwhile I am alone, traveling by the streets of muggle London. I know you must be dying in happiness for having her in your arms once again. I can't help but shed a few more tears because I know I could make you happy if you would just gave me a chance. But I know, as well, that because of her, I cannot be with you.

I love him

But when the night is over

He is gone

The river's just a river

I love you, but loving without being loved back is a miserable life. The night overcomes the sun and the moon shines in the sky. I try to look at her but I can only manage to see a round blurry figure. I know I'm still crying and I know too that I have lost you forever from the moment I found her. But if I'm aware of this then, why am I going back to you? Why going through the pain of watching you with her once more?

Maybe I love to hurt and I love accepting I could never be happy. The only thing I can do now is protect your love and take care of you both. I know I'm taking the most dangerous path to go back but what does it matter now? If everything that kept me alive is with someone else.

Without him

The world around me changes

The trees are bare and everywhere

The streets are full of strangers

Without you I won't be the friend that solves other's problems anymore. The one that is always there to help. I should be keeping from going to the alley I'm going in now, but I don't care anymore. What I want to see the most now is you two showing me how much you love each other. So that I can finally be convinced that I have no hope left of you ever loving me.

A man comes near by me but if I could only see well, I could realize he is not really walking straight. I would also notice that he is reaching for me dangerously. If only I were not crying, I would notice that he has a knife, the same knife that stabbed me and is now in my stomach.

I love him

But every day I'm learning

All my life

I've only been pretending

I love you, but every minute I pass with the knife stabbed, I realize that it is useless to give you the letter she left before she went away. The letter that explained why she was doing what she did; and also said that if you stopped her, she wouldn't have left. It is useless now to tell you all the truth, why did I keep it all this years? Oh, yeah because if you didn't read it, I would keep hope in my heart that you would notice me instead of her. This never happened in those five years she was not here. I am almost at her house now, just a bit more and I can ask for forgiveness before I die so carelessly.

Without me

His world will go on turning

A world that's full of happiness

That I have never known

Without me, your world will keep on turning, with less people to care about and that is just hoping you could ever forgive me for keeping the truth from you. Without me, your world will keep on being happy because I never took part of your happiness. Happiness, a word so far from my world, the word that symbolizes what I never had. Not during these five years. I thought it was, at some point; but I realize now that I was only living in my world of dreams, dreams that broke apart when I found her. And I wonder, why did I look for her in the first place? Of course! You were always first in my thoughts, before anyone else, even me. That is why I couldn't resist what you asked of me. What else could I have done? I'm just a pawn in your quest for happiness, should I only resign to this?

I love him

I love him

I love him

I hear a door opening and desperate steps coming my way. I realize I'm laying down on something really cold. I'm at her house but I'm not inside. Inside, where I can watch you loving each other, watching you show your love for her. I feel someone raising me and putting my head in their lap. I try to clean my eyes and have a better look at the person showing compassion for me. I see you; I see your gray eyes worrying. Why are you showing this feeling to me?

You are supposed to be enjoying your reencounter and leave me on the floor because I lied to you all these years. Oh, but you don't know that yet; you don't know I have her letter hiding in my coat. I try to reach for her because that is the last thing I can do before you forget about me.

-What is this, Ginny?- you ask once I got it out from one of my pockets.

-Something… I should… have given you…- I said trying to breath, but my lungs were closing- read it… and maybe… you would like… to let me fall… on the floor re… really hard.

-What are you saying Ginny?- you said worried again- the ambulance is on its way, just hang in there a bit longer.

-Draco, there is a jam in the streets, we should take her to St. Mungo- she said, her voice sounding worried as well.

-She is gravelly hurt- you answered her- if we apparate, she might not apparate complete.

-Don't… worry Draco… I… I don't… feel any pain- I said to try to make him less worry.

-Hermione, go fetch an umbrella please- you said and she went back to look for it.

-Read… the letter!- I said.

But only on my own

-Why did you hide it, Ginny?- you said disappointed once you finished reading it. You looked at Hermione, and she went inside.

-Please… don't hate me… Draco- I said and I reached for my wound.

-I wish I understand why you did this Ginny- you said.

-You are… here, that… is all I… need- I said and with my other hand I touched your cheek. You just shrugged at the sudden change of temperature.

-Ginny, you are going to get better- you said and then touched my face; something you have never done in all these years, it made me happy, even when these were the last moments I had with you- the ambulance is on its way.

-There… is no… need- I said, and then I looked at you firmly- just… promise me… one thing.

-Anything- you answered.

-When… I'm no longer.., awake- I said- promise me… you will… kiss me… on my forehead.

-Sure, just answer me this Ginny- you said- why did you hide the letter?

-Because… I love you- I said and took a pause before my final rest- but… you don't.


End file.
